The 2019 NFL season was a tumultuous one for Ben Roethlisberger. In Week 2 against the Seattle Seahawks, Roethlisberger exited the game with an elbow injury.

Following an examination, Roethlisberger learned that he tore three of the five flexor tendons in his right elbow off the bone. The injury would require season-ending surgery.

Even before the injury and 2019 season, Roethlisberger had to deal with a rocky offseason amid Antonio Brown leaving the Steelers and criticism raining down on how Roethlisberger leads the locker room. In a newly released mini-docuseries detailing Roethlisberger’s injury and the road back to the field in 2020, his wife, Ashley, opened up about the couple’s marital struggles in 2019.

“Last year’s offseason was probably one of the most challenging offseasons that we’ve had in our marriage,” Ashley said. “Personally, there were disappointments. Professionally, I understand criticism is part of the job. I get that. I wish it wasn’t, but I get it. But last year seemed different.”

When Ashley saw her husband grab his arm in that Week 2 game, she knew something was wrong.

“Honestly, at first, when he grabbed his arm, it didn’t make me worried that he actually injured his arm,” she said. “To me, at first, it signified he’s really hurting. I think, that made me sick to my stomach because I knew he wasn’t going to stop. I knew he was going to keep going and I could see how bad it was hurting.”

Ashley married Roethlisberger in 2011. Another tragedy that made the 2019 offseason even tougher was when Steelers wide receivers coach Darryl Drake suddenly passed away. Roethlisberger had an off-the-field relationship with Drake and was greatly affected by his passing.

Following Roethlisberger’s injury in Week 2, he was given two options. One option was not to have surgery and never play football again, while option two was to have major surgery in order to return to the field. After he was given these options, Ashley said she told her husband she understood if he wanted to retire

“I told him that I was only going to say this one time,” she said. “I wanted him to hear me and mark my words, not going to bring it up again, but if he felt content where he was with the career that he’s had and it’s on his heart to just be done, I would support him 100% in that. He doesn’t have to worry about my feelings in all that. I want what he wants. I was basically just handing him permission to retire if that’s where his heart was and I was going to support him in that.

“And he listened, and you could tell he really took it to heart and thought. And he said, ‘Thank you, but I don’t feel done. I’m not done.'”